


How it is.

by ArchitectOfGods



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Depression, Fake AH Crew, Female Jack Pattillo, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchitectOfGods/pseuds/ArchitectOfGods
Summary: After it happens, there's a lot of questions.Questions of why, questions of why did no one stop it, how'd it happen.There likely isn't answers.





	1. Quiet

 

 

[[Song]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM)  
The gunfire seemed muted.  
The sky grey, and Ryan felt loose. Loose enough that he almost dropped his gun.  
He pauses to use one hand to dig a bullet out of his shoulder, years of doing this has dulled any pain he should feel at it.  
He'd been told to stay low, avoid the police.  
They've been around long enough that the police can almost read events from Ryan's rampages through the city.  
Vague disgust stirs through his stomach as he flicks the bloodied and used bullet aside.  
His hair is sticky against his skull, he flexes his shoulder and raises the gun again.  
  
==--==  
  
'Ryan, wait!'  
Ryan almost doesn't respond to his own name. He's felt rather within his own head.  
'We're worried about you,' Jack's arm is on his shoulder, and he feels a dull ache, wonders if maybe he left any bullets in.  
To his credit he doesn't flinch, 'I'm immortal remember, I'm not supposed to die,' notes Ryan dryly.  
'That's not what I meant,' Jack always sounds so anxious these days. Ryan doesn't want to see her face.  
'Can you at least stay here for tonight?' asks Jack.  
Ryan shrugs her hand of, ignores her question, avoids turning to look at her, 'Where's the rest of the crew?'  
Jack falters, 'Gavin and Michael are with their partners, Geoff is out drinking.'  
Where Ray is is left unmentioned, unsaid. It doesn't really need to be said. They all know.  
There's silence, then Jack is moving to stand in front of Ryan, the taller of the two automatically turns his head as to not see her face still.  
He knows what he'll see.  
Shadowed eyes, down turned mouth, disappointment etched into each line.  
'Ryan, look at me,' he can almost hear the frown in her voice.  
A sigh escapes him, 'What do you want from me?'  
'I want you to be okay, I want us all to go back to being okay,' it's almost a plea.  
Ryan quietly brushes past her, 'perhaps we'd be okay if someone had stopped him.'  
There's no response to this, the door shuts behind him and moments later he hears glass shattering.  
There's no point being concerned.  
He leaves the building, already unsure why he'd bothered stopping in on the crews headquarters.  
He knows exactly what bar Geoff is likely to be at, knows the areas to avoid to stay away from the rest of the crew.  
The city seems quiet, in a lull waiting for the next big event.  
Someones probably dying at this moment, someone always is.  
Ryan observed the sky unemotionally, the rain makes his skin feel sticky, he isn't wearing his mask. Too immediately recognizable with it.  
People recoil as they walk past him.  
He's used to this.  
He has a house on the edge of the city, and that's where he goes, remaining silent in the taxi, ignoring the looks the driver shoots his way.   
It's not often he's driven around by someone who isn't from the crew, and the drive takes longer than he's used to.  
His house is the same as he left it, he kicks a pair of Ray's shoes from where they sit in front of the front door, hangs up his jacket.  
There's a moment where he almost calls out for Ray, almost heads straight for the couch to where Ray is sometimes perched, immersed in some achievement.  
'Ray?' the call escapes him anyway.  
There's no answer, and the silence feels foreign.  
Ryan grabs the TV remote, flips to a random channel before wandering out of the room in search of a watering can.  
He really needs to hire someone to care for the plants here.  
Ryan can't always spare the time to come to this house on the edge of the city to water plants.  
He idly strokes the leaf of one of the plants. He likes cactii the most.  
There's a 3DS on his side table, and he shoves it into the closet.  
The grass of his backyard is yellow, almost reaches his knees. Wading through the grass Ryan finds several balls lost among it, he isn't sure where they're from. Hadn't thought kids lived on his street.  
He isn't entirely sure who does live on the street now that he thinks about it.  
He gathers all the random things that have made their way onto his yard anyway, puts them into a box and carries it around to his front yard.  
The box is left next to his front door.  
His phone rings from where Ryan has left it on the kitchen counter.  
He almost ignores it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk, why do you think i know *vague noises of concern*  
> future me, remove this summary please

_He'd been missing for weeks._  
_They're used to this._  
_Ray's disappeared for months at a time._  
_But this once, concern stirs through Ryan, he wakes gasping in the seldom times he does sleep._  
_Somethings wrong, his mind insists._  
  
==--==  
  
It's Geoff's slur that greets him when he answers the phone.  
'Where's Ray, Ryan?' slurs the drunk, 'R and r connection, you always know where he is.'  
Ryan almost hangs up, instead he goes still, gazing silently at the wall as Geoff continues to mumble about Ray.  
'Come back to the penthouse tomorrow,' finally a line without any slur to it, 'I have news for the crew, we've been scrambled for too long.'  
Only several months.  
It'd been several months since the news, Ryan murmurs a reply, agrees to be there, hangs up the phone.  
He draws in a deep breath. Wanders back to his bedroom.  
He'd rather feel empty than feel this dull ache that seems to have over taken what's left of him.  
  
==--==  
  
He wakes early, a choked sob escaping his throat as he awakens.  
Ryan doesn't bother showering before leaving the house, drives one of his own cars to get back to the penthouse.  
There's an unfamiliar car parked outside the building. Not really something new, but Ryan still pauses to consider it, notes an obnoxious purple hat sitting on the passenger seat.  
Gavin is waiting outside the penthouse, the lads face lights up at the sight of Ryan.  
'Ryan!' he exclaims, 'I haven't seen you since. . . ' he trails off, shoulders slumping.  
The lad looks a little worse for wear, his golden sunglasses looking battered, smears on the lenses.  
Ryan can only shrug in return, he's itching for his mask, a feeling that almost feels foreign, it's been a long time since he's wanted to wear his mask around any member of the crew.  
The door slams open then, Michael appears, eyes narrowed in a familiar anger.  
A squawk escapes Gavin at the loudness of it, and the false blonde drops the wallet he'd been fiddling with.  
Michael comes to a halt at the sight of Ryan, sighs in resignment, 'I'll grab your mask so you can go in,' he disappears back into the penthouse.  
'I wonder why he thinks you need that,' Gavin voices Ryan's thoughts, he's very quickly picked up the wallet, shoves it into his back pocket.  
From what he sees of it, Ryan can immediately recognize it.  
It's an old worn thing, initials scratched into one corner, the leather ragged.  
Ray's old wallet, the male had mostly only ever kept a couple of five dollar notes in it.  
No doubt the thing was older than a lot of the people Ryan had met.  
Michael reappears with Ryan's mask, shoves it into his hands before stomping off, apparently unwilling to reenter the penthouse.  
Something releases in Ryan's chest as he slides the mask on, he inclines his head to Gavin and the pair enter together.  
Geoff, Jack and a stranger sit at the large table.  
Ryan's gaze is drawn to the stranger.  
Short and stocky, his outfit is ridiculous and Ryan doesn't really want to look for too long.  
'This is Jeremy Dooley,' introduces Geoff with a loose hand gesture.  
'What's he here for?' asks Gavin, looking wary, the look he gives Jeremy isn't impressed.  
Geoff sighs, touching his finger tips together in front of his face, 'He's joining the crew, Lindsay is also moving from b team to main crew.'  
Gavin seems to perk up at the mention of Lindsay, but he still looks at Jeremy with some wariness.  
Ryan drops into one of the seats at the table, refuses to look towards the other members of the crew.  
It's far too soon for this. Or maybe it isn't, and Ryan's just changing to be unable to accept change.  
He ponders if maybe he is getting too hold, he lays a hand against his chest, seeks comfort in the still present ache.  
'Ryan?' Jack's voice interrupts his thoughts, Jeremy is regarding the masked man with some curiosity.  
'Are you okay with this?' Jack continues, she gestures to Jeremy, Ryan wonders if she's aware of how unfair she's being.  
As if he can be okay with this, as if he could voice that _in front_ of Jeremy, he wonders if the new lad is even immortal.  
Ryan offers up a shrug, before allowing his shoulders to slump a bit more than usual.  
'Lindsay will be working with me to plan some heists,' explains Geoff, 'We'll start getting back into it next week, give Jeremy a little time to settle in.'  
'Only a week?' notes Gavin, they all know what he's saying. A week is nothing to them.  
A week is like a blink. Gone almost immediately.  
Ryan nods vaguely, trying to look like he agrees with what Gavin is saying.  
Geoff shrugs them both off, 'Jeremy's a lot younger than us, no doubt he's already eager to go.'  
They all look to the short male at this, Jeremy just beams at them and raises both thumbs.  
Ryan almost leaves immediately, instead he just sighs.


	3. Chapter 3

_He'd been missing for three months before they found out._  
_The charm was broken, utterly and completely._  
  
  
They sit in a bar.  
The noise is a background murmur, Ryan sits with his eyes closed, hands wrapped around a cool glass of diet cola.  
Jeremy has been eagerly chatting with Michael and Gavin.  
In the last two days, Jeremy seems to have been managing to slot himself into the crew.  
It's been quickly established that Jeremy is indeed immortal, but Ryan isn't sure that matters anymore.  
The new lad is eager to join Michael and Gavin's reckless deadly games, much to Jack's disappointment, Ryan assumes she'd been hoping he'd be calmer than them, slow them down.  
If anything, the three lads are encouraged by each others presence alone.  
Ryan isn't sure why he's joined them on this outing. He's wearing his mask, and on several occasions he's felt peoples gaze linger on him just a little too long.  
Despite the fact that Jeremy has admitted to not being a very good sniper, Ryan can't help but look at him like he's just here to replace Ray.  
This fact is very obvious to Jack, and she's tried to speak to him several times much to his displeasure.  
Sighing, Ryan idly stirred his drink with his stupidly small straw.  
He's about ready to leave, but can't seem to bring himself to move quite yet.  
He needs ti be able to work with Jeremy on this heist, needs to get along with the male, with the replacement Ray.  
  
 _None of them had understand how._  
 _Later, alone, Ryan had screamed until his voice was hoarse._  
  
They decided to go simple, rob a bank.  
It's a basic concept, you go in, hold hostages while someone cracks safes and gathers money.  
They assign Jack, Gavin and Lindsay to manage the safes and the rest of them pace about the bank and look menacing, keep the police at bay.  
Ryan cant help but glance to the building opposite, to the roof where Ray would have sat if he'd been with them.  
There's a certain stench to the air, and Ryan hasn't yet placed his finger on what it is.  
He lingers by the window, ignores the gazes Michael and Geoff shoot his way.  
A bag of cash is shoved into his hand, Geoff claps him on the back and the crew heads for the back door.  
The police seize the opportunity now that they've moved away from the people within the bank.  
Ryan keeps up a steady pace with his gun, keeping anyone from coming too near.  
He can't help but find his gaze drawn to Jeremy, the lad is doing well, doesn't look panicked in the slightest, is cackling loudly at Michael's side, head tipped back.  
The thrill of his first heist.  
They split up, going different routes, if they're divided, the police are also divided.  
Ryan ends up alone on his motorbike, the wind whips against him as he roars down alleyways.  
He's so tired.  
  
 _For days they had been unwilling to believe it._  
 _But Ryan had believed it immediately, he didn't try to speak to the rest of the crew._  
 _Stayed quiet. Alone._  
  
The crew is in high spirits when they gather in one safe house the next day.  
Lindsay raises a glass, beams at Michael, so incredibly proud.  
They had collected more money than expected, and Geoff is positively thrilled, he can't stay still. He rants and raves. The crew is back on it's feet, the crew is ready to rule this city.  
The crew is unstoppable, the crew is moving forward.  
The thought of moving forward makes Ryan feel sick, and he can feel Gavin's eyes on him, can see how Michael looks the other way whenever he makes eye contact with the Vagabond.  
It's all so loud and all so grey at the same time, and Ryan just wants some _air._  
Ray's dead, Ray's immortal, and he's dead and he killed himself.  
And Ryan just can't understand _how.  
_ And maybe a part of him, can't understand why Ray would leave him.


End file.
